The Kinktionary is a concise collection of kink-related terms and definitions to help you understand what everyone is talking about.

The definitions on this page are the simplest or most common definitions.  Many of these terms may have other meanings depending on geographic location, specific kinks, context, and personal preference.  This is a work in progress. The definitions here are subject to change, update, and refinement.

A-D :: E-H :: I-L :: M-P :: Q-T :: U-Z

A-D

Asexual

(adj) 1) A person who does not experience sexual attraction.

Bondage

(n) tag

Bottom

(n) A person who adopts a role in which they allow the other person to have more control. 2) A person who is on the receiving end of certain kinky activities

Bottom

(v) To participate in kinky activities as the person giving up control or being on the receiving end of certain activities.

Butch

(adj)

Cis-gendered

(adj) A person who’s identified gender matches their physical sex.  tag

Discipline

(n) Activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: tag

Dominant

(n) A  person who prefers to be in control.

Dominant

(adj) The state of being in control

Dom

(n) An abbreviation for Dominant (n)

Domme

(n) An abbreviation for Dominant (n); specific  to females

E-H

Femme

(n)

Fetish

(n) An activity, item, or situation–traditionally considered non-sexual–which causes sexual arousal tag

Flogging

(v) The activity of using a whip or flogger (usually for sexual stimulation) tag

Gender

(n)  How one identifies themself in the spectrum from masculine to feminine.  tag

Gender-Bending

(v) Changing or masking the way in which one presents their gender. tag

Gender Fluid

(adj) Varying in how one presents their gender; not restricted to a pre-defined gender.

Gender Queer

(adj)

Heteroflexible

(adj) When a person is primarily heterosexual, but may be attracted to, or engage in sexual activities with, other genders under certain circumstances.

Homoflexible

(adj) When a person is primarily homosexual, but may be attracted to, or engage in sexual activities with, other genders under certain circumstances

I-L

Intersex

(adj) A person who is in the process of transitioning from one (physical) sex to another

Kajira

(n)

Kink

(n) Any sexually-stimulating activity or situation that does not involve sexual intercourse for the purpose of reproduction tag

Kink-Friendly

(adj) Being positively or neutrally sympathetic to persons, activities, or ideas relating to kink tag

Leather Family

(n)

M-P

Masochist

(n) A person who gets sexually excited when they have pain inflicted on them.

Master

(n) A male-identified dominant (usage varies by context)

Mistress

(n) A female-identified dominant (usage varies by context)

Pansexual

(adj) A person who may be attracted to anyone, regardless of their gender.

Pet

(n) A person whose role reflects aspects of, or mimics, that of a domesticated animal

Polyamorous

(adj) Having the ability to be in love with more than one person at a time.  tag

Q-T

Queer

(adj)

Sadist

(n) A person who gets sexually excited by inflicting pain on others. tag

Sadomasochist

(n) A person who gets sexually excited by inflicting on others or having it inflicted upon them.

Slave

(n)

Submissive

(n) A person who prefers to allow others to control them, or the situations involving them tag

Submissive

(adj) The condition of preferring others to have control tag

Switch

(n) A general term for a person who may take opposite or multiple roles depending on the situation. e.g. Top and Bottom.

Switch

(v) To change between roles such as top and bottom

Transgender

(adj) A person who has changed their gender (usually physically) tag

Top

(n) A person who adopts a role in which they have more control. 2) A person who is on the giving end of certain kinky activities

Top

(v) To participate in kinky activities as the person in control or being on the giving end of certain activities.

U-Z

Unicorn

(n) A single, unattached, bisexual woman who will play with male/female couples and participate with both partners equally. Derived from their being rare.

Vanilla

(adj) 1) A person who does not identify as kinky.
2) A situation which does not involve kink. tag