Chapter 4 of the Rule entitled Tools for Good Works showers the reader with Scripture quotes found in the Gospels and Pauline epistles. Those quotes intercepted with Benedict’s own insights fall into the following general categories: Scriptural Commandments beginning with the Greatest which sum up the Law and the Prophets: Love God (whoever you conceive
[continue reading...]

The Rule continues with addressing the issues of consultative way of steering the Community. Chapter 3 is dedicated to the ins and outs of summoning the Community for counsel and giving the household members a chance to have their say in matters that concern the welfare of all. Even the Abbot is not exempted from
[continue reading...]

When I began my kinky journey, I had preconceived ideas about what “dominance” and “submission” meant. The only dominance I had experienced was the abusive, bullying kind, and relationships in which I had played an unknowingly submissive role were not defined as D/s. For a period of time during my marriage, my now ex-husband and
[continue reading...]

Chapter 2 of the Rules of Benedict outlines the qualities of the Abbot: As the one holding the place of Christ in the community, the Abbot must lead by word and example, mingling gentleness with sternness and tempering the rigor of the master with fatherly love. The RB makes it very clear that the Abbot
[continue reading...]

December was an interesting month for me. As well as the familiar enemy of seasonal depression, I was also battling professional doubt and too many personal issues to count. The professional doubt was something I wasn’t expecting, even though it is natural to experience from time to time. With the level of intimacy involved in
[continue reading...]

There’s an on-going debate in kink as to weather BDSM is about sex or not.   One one side are those who say “duh! Of course it is.”  On the other side, are those who say “No, the sex is just an extra treat, it’s about power and interaction.”   The truth of  the matter is probably
[continue reading...]

Let’s look at the famous, or notorious, slave contract. Yes, that one, the one that says the slave is yours forever and can never leave. The one that says the slave consents in advance and consents permanently and irrevocably, to whatever you do. It says you can break your slave’s hand on purpose or can
[continue reading...]

The Rule of Benedict continues: It is better to keep silent than to speak of all these (the sarabites and the gyrovagues) and their disgraceful way of life. Let us pass them by and … proceed to draw up a plan for the strong kind, the cenobites. Benedict called the cenobites fortissimus genus, the strong
[continue reading...]

My view of the word “punishment” has changed significantly through my journey into kink. The everyday, vanilla-esque definition is a negative reenforcement for negative behavior. Really, the entire thing is negative for everyone involved. The punisher is doing it because something was done that was bad, while the recipient is having a negative experience as
[continue reading...]

Vulnerability…it is a word therapists like to use a lot. We don’t use it in a negative way, meaning weakness. We use it to mean a willingness to open up and take risks…particularly emotional ones.  While people often try to avoid being vulnerable because it makes it easy to get hurt, vulnerability is where emotional
[continue reading...]