Starting off can be exhilarating.  There are so many new things to try that trying to pick just one is a task in and of itself.  Even attending events can be a lot to take in; everyone seems to have their own little specialty and niche, and oh the outfits!  At the vanilla-friendly events, it could be a cleverly disguised collar or a pair of really soft leather boots, but there’s no holding back at the full-on kink events.  Between the corsets and the floggers, the jewelry and the leather, you can already begin to feel your wallet lighten.  Clicking on the banner ads on any main fetish site will instantly take you to websites where even the most basic toys start off around $100, and full outfits can easily run you into the $200 to $400 range. How are you supposed to pull off those fabulously detailed costumes event after event, and always have the newest toy to show off to your friends?

Budgets and BDSM

Another realistic part of finding your inner kink is getting a grasp on the expense.  After all, bedroom toys aren’t something people normally budget for, but if you’re on a budget you just might need to.  Everyone comes from very different walks of life, so our ability to pay for special toys and outfits can vary greatly.  So what are the costs involved with your little exploration into the Kink community?  What are the clothes or toys that you can use in scene after scene, and what are going to be pretty unique to that one special time?

Each kink has its own costs associated with it. If you like needle play, it’s not just the cost of the needles but also the cost of the gloves and the antiseptic for aftercare.  Or say you are really into riding crops and using them; how much is the crop itself?  Were you interested in using a piece of equipment like a St. Andrew’s Cross or a spanking bench? How much would it cost to buy one versus rent it?  Are there other supplies you need?  Is this a play session that can take place in your basement, or are you going to have to rent space at a professional dungeon?  And if you settle on a base cost, a number you can point at and say “it’s going to cost at least this much”, then how much is it going to cost you to get the fancy-pants toys you really want?

A useful process I’ve found it to break down the scene you want piece by piece.  For example, usually my play sessions start off with a regular date with my partner; what kind of money am I putting towards the date?  Is it my turn to pay?  Do I have an outfit I plan to wear or do I want to make this special and buy a dress, or some lingerie?  What money should I set aside for unexpected expense, like surprise trips to the ice cream shop after dinner?

Then you move to the scene; what do I need for it?  What do they have, and can we use it?  What is my partner able to provide, and what am I able to provide?  What do we not have that we need to buy and who is the one picking up the bill for that?  What are we going to need after, in terms of health care, cleaning supplies, or bribe money?  By narrowing all this down, you can arrive at a price tag that is overwhelmingly more than you expected for just one date.  Suddenly going back to the vanilla scene looks more and more tempting, at least from the point of view of your bank account.

Inexpensive Solutions

But never fear!  This is what makes elaborate scenes so special, and the detailed ones might only come once in a long while.  In the meantime, there are plenty of options that don’t break the bank.

For example, playing dominance/submission games can be free!  After your movie and dinner are finished, take your slave back to your place and play at Master/Slave (if you aren’t already in this arrangement), getting them to kneel to take off your shoes and put away your coat before you push them over to the bed.  Or maybe try some of the moves you learned at the last Beatdown practice and see how well you can keep your partner pinned to the bed (as always, be careful and mind the furniture).  And we are all quite aware of the wonderful plethora of free pornography on the internet, so find a few clips or download a movie, and watch it together.

A lot of local communities (especially Madison!) have groups and internet threads devoted to cheap kinky crafts, such as making your own toys or outfits.  Often times friends made through the community will direct you to some great deals, or even lend you their toys (be sure to clean them afterwards though!).  There are also plenty of local events and parties that are free or relatively cheap.  There are guides to making floggers from parts found at your local hardware store (see our previous article) and videos to teach you the techniques you’re too shy to ask about.  The nice thing about Madison’s community is that it is saturated with fantasy/science fiction nerds who love cosplay, so there’s someone out there with clothes for you to borrow for that night out at Leather and Lace.

Bartering for BDSM

Another great idea is to “swap” skills.  Need a kinkier wardrobe?  See if you can’t find one of those cosplayers and exchange a sewing lesson for, say, a cooking lesson.  Maybe you know how to sew, but want to borrow a particular flogger for the night; maybe you could trade for sewing up some tears in their gear or putting the buttons back on a shirt that got ripped open.  If you stop thinking purely in terms of cold, hard cash and actually think of what you do have to offer, it’s not so daunting a task to set up a scene.  Plenty of people need help fixing their computer, or balancing their check books, or navigating their insurance.  And if you aren’t too creepy, there are numbers of kinky parents who would love to make exchanges for a night of watching the little ones, especially if it means they don’t have to pay in cash.  What can you offer others and create a beneficial exchange?  What’s a skill you have that you totally dismiss, but might be useful to someone else?

Don’t allow the initial price tag of entering the community scare you off.  There are lots of options out there while you save up for that big special play sessions, and plenty of friendly kinky folks who would love to help you.  Before you put down that bit of plastic for a huge purchase, sit back and contemplate, and look for other alternatives; you’ll be surprised what you can find.  Add in some inventiveness and a little imagination, and you can have a mind blowing scene without blowing the bank, or the banker.