Who gets the check? Etiquette of D/s relationships at restaurants.Jul 23rd, 2011 | By Miss R | Category: Contributors, MissR, Saturday Specials
I like going out to eat. I like being taken out to eat. I like being with my friends when out to eat. I like having my sub at my side when I am out to eat.
That all sounds the same, but when the check comes, it changes how things are divvied up.
Getting to know each other outside of the Dungeon or Bedroom usually happens in a food-oriented setting. Conversation over drinks and nachos has made many D/s relationships bloom.
If it was a vanilla outing with a group of people, there are oddities when paying portions of the check. When you throw in a D/s relationship, that can cause all sorts of problems. Dominant pays? Submissive pays? Submissive gives money to Dominant who then pays? Dominant gives money to Submissive who then pays?
It comes down to one important thing: Negotiations.
Each and every relationship is different. Some are equal with the monetary side, some have financial domination as part of the relationship. There are even some Dominants who take the overall financial aspect of their relationships onto themselves to provide for their submissives.
When you are out for the first time with someone you want a D/s relationship with, it is customary for the person who invited the other to pay for the meal. It is just like a regular date, and that is how things have gone in the past. Intentions should be made clear at the start for who will be paying before being seated at the restaurant or else the relationship may not progress further.
Even if you are going out with someone that you have been with before and there is a relationship, make sure it is known who will be taking care of the check at the beginning of the evening. There is little more embarrassing than having to run around with your chastity belt on under your street clothes trying to find an ATM at the end of a meal. Of course, there are Play aspects of that…
In a group situation such as a Munch, it is best to bring up the check issue at the beginning to make sure everyone is aware of their portion, and who is in charge of who’s check. There may be a little maneuvering, but it is good to get it settled so you can have a good time. Rounds of drinks or shared appetizers are the responsibility of the person who orders it.
If there is any problem, I will have to say that the Dominant, because they are in charge, should deal with it. It may be as little as looking at the submissive and raising an eyebrow or as much as having to go get some cash. The one in charge needs to be aware that they have responsibilities, not just the fun aspects of being the Dominant.
This is just a guide, but I hope that it has helped you for the next Munch or intimate meal you are at. Eat well and I’ll see you at the next Munch.
Miss R from the Leathermines